The warrior's guide to survival

8. the way, when he wakes up and sees me, that his face explodes into a look of pure joy 9. the way he giggles when i undress him 10. the way he moulds himself into my neck and shoulder when he sleep, and becomes heavy but wont be put down on his own. ahh , i love my boy with every inch of my being. hopefully i'll be up in time to help with some anti bnp leafletting tomorrow - i should do what i can to help ensure that the world i bring my son into is at least not filled with hate. it breaks my heart already to know that at some point in his life, that someone will be horrible to him. then i have said ill take lilttleun to see his paternal grandmother, a trip i am not looking forward to because of the nastiness with his dad, whom i expect will also be there. nothing would make me happier than to bring my boy up with no involvement from that side of the family but i know that is not fair so i will make some effort at least. not that ill get any thanks for it and probably...

Ok , been putting off writing but my Aunt suggested 15 minutes a day, time that I might otherwise be spending just pissing around doing nothing much at all, checking my facebook and other nonessential and timewasting tasks. I've been thinking for ages that I should make a list of things that I never want to forget about my lovely son, so that I can look back when he's a growling smelly-socked teenager and go " awww , but you remember when...". Or just to hold these little pockets of perfection in my heart forever. 1. His silky smooth, delightfully plump cheeks. So soft and cool like the middle of one of those lindt chocolates, the moment that the hard chocolate is broken and the cooling soft middle touches your tongue. Or like a good quality high thread count cotton pillowcase, fresh from the wash and plump on the bed. When i feel his cheek against my own i want to hold him like that forever, the joy it brings to my heart is indescribable. 2. His deep ch...

hi a quick first blog to say hi to anyone that might be reading. i had my wonderful, deliriously happy and devastatingly beautiful son 13 weeks and 6 days ago (following nine months of hell, which i wont go into just yet). started random tweets (@moedervanm) but kept running out of space so here i am, where i can ramble on as much as i jolly well please, and thank-you. more to follow, but for now, littleun needs attention. xx