The warrior's guide to survival

although im writing this from my desktop, ive just sucessfully set up mobile blogging, which will ensure i more frequently blog, as i can send from my phone now! yeah! so, whats been happening? grandmas still alive, at home and quite weak but able to hold brief conversations now, which is nice. and she's always happy to see my little boy, who is blossoming daily. eight months old nearly now! he is just amazing, he can babble words now like hiya, mommy, baby and happy (or was it nappy, i still havent decided 'appy was the exact sound). he can clap his hands, stand on his bonny legs and look a specific things that i point at. he eats with great gusto a wide variety of food, though he does seem to prefer the blander stuff. i'm sill breastfeeding and have not had too many bites from his two prefect little bottom teeth. his personality just grows and grows, he is the brightest, happiest little thing you ever did see. today he's been practising his rolling and ive bee...

dear mr nobody, it's been some time, though not for want of trying - had a failed attempt or two from my mobile but my words get getting lost, which was fairly disconcerting as well as highly annoying. had a sad few weeks, grandma has been in hospital after another bad fall, her brain tumour it seems is taking over. so ive been taking m to see her lots and lots, because he makes her smile, and also of course because im cramming in all those visits that i meant to make and didnt over the years. i dont suppose im the only person in the world to do this but though je ne regret rien (generally) je definitely regret not getting my lazy/tired/drug-addled ass off to see her while she still had all of her faculties. it's so so sad, my bubbly full of life and sometimes over-communicative grandma lying in bed barely able to control her own bodily functions, unable to enjoy the food that she has always grown in the back garden and forgetful of the words that she always valued so highl...

testing blogger from my phone today. I have to say, someone needs to invent a random blog title generator, its quite hard to think of a new title each time. not that anyones looking! Lol to self. Went to see m's granny n grandad today, formerly known as my own mum n dad, and dropped dads birthday pressie off before they jetted off on holiday for almost a week. Walked dog along river and let him have a swim, hes swimming mad that dog but i dont know what was in that last bit of river cos he came out STINKING and grey. Not nice. Tried to throw some buckets of water over him but he didnt like that so i showered him upon our return home. Still a faint yuk smell hanging around though. Nearly had a door crisis when he jumped up n scratched dads back door but crisis was averted by careful application of shoe polish to said scratches only minutes before the return of the grandparents. Phew! Dont know what it is about sunshine and fresh air but im knackered now and babys been sleepin...

well, this 15 mins a day thing hasn't been going too well, has it? I'm going to have to start blogging from my phone - recently littleun has been rather demanding of my time, the little ike - he's getting livelier by the day. anyway, it's probably a good thing that Ive been away for a bit, I've had a horribly upsetting couple of weeks. i arranged to meet babyfather (in public, due to previous harassment and domestic violence incidents). i thought, what can possibly go wrong with swimming - a good father child bonding experience and a public place to protect mummy. well, he turned up late ( wasn't going to go swimming at all till i told him i was going and that's that). i was going to meet some friends after so i took pity on his sorry ass and said he could come along. he seemed OK , quite normal but when i told him i was going to drop him home it all kicked off - he didn't want to go home etc etc ( hmmm remind anyone of a childish ...

8. the way, when he wakes up and sees me, that his face explodes into a look of pure joy 9. the way he giggles when i undress him 10. the way he moulds himself into my neck and shoulder when he sleep, and becomes heavy but wont be put down on his own. ahh , i love my boy with every inch of my being. hopefully i'll be up in time to help with some anti bnp leafletting tomorrow - i should do what i can to help ensure that the world i bring my son into is at least not filled with hate. it breaks my heart already to know that at some point in his life, that someone will be horrible to him. then i have said ill take lilttleun to see his paternal grandmother, a trip i am not looking forward to because of the nastiness with his dad, whom i expect will also be there. nothing would make me happier than to bring my boy up with no involvement from that side of the family but i know that is not fair so i will make some effort at least. not that ill get any thanks for it and probably...

Ok , been putting off writing but my Aunt suggested 15 minutes a day, time that I might otherwise be spending just pissing around doing nothing much at all, checking my facebook and other nonessential and timewasting tasks. I've been thinking for ages that I should make a list of things that I never want to forget about my lovely son, so that I can look back when he's a growling smelly-socked teenager and go " awww , but you remember when...". Or just to hold these little pockets of perfection in my heart forever. 1. His silky smooth, delightfully plump cheeks. So soft and cool like the middle of one of those lindt chocolates, the moment that the hard chocolate is broken and the cooling soft middle touches your tongue. Or like a good quality high thread count cotton pillowcase, fresh from the wash and plump on the bed. When i feel his cheek against my own i want to hold him like that forever, the joy it brings to my heart is indescribable. 2. His deep ch...

hi a quick first blog to say hi to anyone that might be reading. i had my wonderful, deliriously happy and devastatingly beautiful son 13 weeks and 6 days ago (following nine months of hell, which i wont go into just yet). started random tweets (@moedervanm) but kept running out of space so here i am, where i can ramble on as much as i jolly well please, and thank-you. more to follow, but for now, littleun needs attention. xx