The warrior's guide to survival

Dear Friends Thank you for all your valuable support whenever I am due to appear in court with Cubs father.  Back in May 2011 and early on in the court proceedings I wrote a brief history of the events that led up to this long drawn-out process that I am trapped in at the moment.  More life/relationship history can be found in my birth story, here and here .  I can't even read these again myself, the whole sorry saga just makes me a bit flat and depressed, to be honest, so I focus on my son, because he is the happiest little person I've ever met and my whole world. Over a year it took, of to-ing and fro-ing to the magistrates courts.  You expect, as a civilian (so to speak) for the solicitors to know their jobs, and the procedures, and to direct you forward in the appropriate manner.  Sadly for me and for many others, it seems, this is not the case.  Last year I made several trips to the court, I was ordered to attend a parenting course, which was ha...

hey baby, Well, less of a baby now aren't you? You're potty trained now my clever little boy.  And it was easy, I'd been setting the scene for you with your pirate pete book and elmo dvd and i had bought you pants and a nice potty.  You've been running around half-naked anyway with the warmer weather and one day you just wanted to wear your pants instead of your nappy and that was that.  You even take yourself to the potty now, and flush it all away.  How clever is that?  Well, I am very impressed anyway.  You continue to amaze me in so many ways, I think your wanting to be free of nappies just stemmed from your strong independent streak, you are so confident and like to do things yourself.  You love to help me too, for example I was carrying your car seat in from the car, you could see it was a bit heavy and rushed over the help me.  Little things like that just make me want to give you a big old monstersaurus cuddle and kiss your velvet-soft,...

Hello Poppett You continue to grow and amaze me, your language skills are coming along marvellously, some might say that you never shut up (did you get that from me too?), but you speak in sentences, though they are not always 100% intelligible, and i often have to translate for others.  You talk about what you have been doing, recently and sometimes quite a long time ago too, you amaze me with what you remember.  Mostly though you talk about trains, oh how you love thomas!  When you meet new people you tell them 'a thomas a den den aaa puff away aaa a choo-choo' which always makes me laugh and confuses them! A denn a a a are your fillers, the noises you make when you don't know the exact words, or when you are thinking of what to say next. I can watch your little toes all day, you refuse shoes and socks most of the time so I get to watch your feet from all angles - your toes seem to express everything you are feeling or doing - the tops, the bottoms, your little ...

My sweet love, Is it March already? Oh how time flies when you're having fun! You are SO much fun, I should point out some of your Malachi-isms as they make me smile so much...like...you think that a ghost is just when you put a cloth/coat/t-shirt/bit of pay dough on top of your head and walk round bumping into things...like...saying 'wock n woll, baby' and 'come on then' and 'good god..amess' (can't imagine where you picked those phrases up from *looks all innocent, and a little bit guilty*. You love pouring liquids and making a big mess, but you can wipe it up again afterwards when I pass you a cloth. You love to be tickled and say 'more' - you're a crazy giggler and you laugh is as infectious as your smile. You are super independent but when you want a cuddle you come to me all sleepy and wrap your arms and legs around me and rest your head in my neck and it is the best feeling ever. My life is made worthwhile when you come up and r...

Well, hello my lovely, you are two now, and don't we all just know it!! You are such a whirlwind of fun, your brave rough and tumble play has everybody gasping as you fall and roll like a professional stuntman and get up again giggling your head off and smiling from ear to ear. You were the life and the soul of the swimming pool today, with your armbands and shark fin on, circling people and splashing and being your typical smiling and laughing self. You really do spread joy wherever you go. I've decided to quit the swimming lessons though because you have decided that you don’t like swimming in lines up and down and listening to some stranger telling you what to do. I can't imagine where you get this free-spiritedness from (looks in mirror, nods and winks). Every day with you is a blessing, when you look at me in the morning and say 'morning' and say 'thank you for yummy mummy milk', it's a good start to the day, even if I have been woken numerous...

All through my pregnancy I’d being doing all the right things to make my birth experience quick and easy. I’d been exercising regularly, going for long walks, bouncing on the damned exercise ball till I thought it might burst, I’d taken long baths, all my vitamins, and had even tried massaging my perineum in the last few weeks. On the 21st December 2009, a Monday, I started having contractions and by the evening I thought that they were close enough together to warrant a trip to the hospital. I was scared but excited too, and to be honest, at that stage the pain was manageable, it came and it went again, and I could just about handle it. My parents took me to hospital that time – I cant remember why the ex didn't – but there was no room at the inn, and by the time a midwife became available, the contractions were a bit more spaced out. My cervix had thinned, the baby was definitely coming, but I was only 1cm dilated so was sent home and told to take paracetamol for the pain. O...

My birth story really has to begin with the pregnancy. Cubs father and I lived together but were sleeping in separate rooms - I didn't love him any more but I think part of me was trying to make a go of things just so that the previous three years had not been a complete waste of time. He was moody and paranoid - on his birthday in January he'd accused me of pretending to be sick to ruin his day. I'd been up all night with the worst most painful sickness bug I can remember, running to the loo for the one end and vomiting so furiously that at one point I 'leaked' (I'd be doing a bit more of THAT later on in the year with a baby on my bladder!). I was studying for my DTLLS and my grades reflected my home life - I'd gone from being a high first to second class degree grades. At Easter, my Grandma saw how much the relationship was distressing and upsetting me and paid for an flat in Lytham St Annes for a week for me and my dog Shadow, because she was holida...