Letter to twitter part 2

Dear Friends

Thank you for all your valuable support whenever I am due to appear in court with Cubs father.  Back in May 2011 and early on in the court proceedings I wrote a brief history of the events that led up to this long drawn-out process that I am trapped in at the moment.  More life/relationship history can be found in my birth story, here and here.  I can't even read these again myself, the whole sorry saga just makes me a bit flat and depressed, to be honest, so I focus on my son, because he is the happiest little person I've ever met and my whole world.

Over a year it took, of to-ing and fro-ing to the magistrates courts.  You expect, as a civilian (so to speak) for the solicitors to know their jobs, and the procedures, and to direct you forward in the appropriate manner.  Sadly for me and for many others, it seems, this is not the case.  Last year I made several trips to the court, I was ordered to attend a parenting course, which was half a day in a characterless room full of bitter people bitching about their exes and I came away with nothing that could possibly be of use to me or my son but merely left me feeling rather sad for all these poor children caught up in adult bitterness battles. 

Then we both had to be interviewed by a Cafcass officer, who writes a report and according to my mother (who is a family magistrate herself) is a document that holds much weight in the courtroom.  On the day I went, Cubs father was supposed to have attended the previous morning but had not showed up and phoned rather late in the day and sounding inebriated.  I was very nervous but the lady was very friendly and there were plenty of toys for my son to play with while my Dad looked after him during the course of the interview.  She correctly assessed that my son is a happy confident and well-loved boy.

He turned up late for his second appointment, admitted to her that he had assaulted and stalked me and told her that I should be frightened of him, all of which is documented in her report.

I thought after that, that surely this would be near the end of the matter but at the next visit, his solicitors demanded a Scott schedule, a process that should have been dealt with right at the beginning of the case. It is a fact finding document, where I detail the events and he responds.  So this was drawn up, and we returned once again to court.  This time my Mum attended with me for support and also to kick some butt with my solicitor, who seemed to have a very relaxed attitude to his job (to put it kindly).  We demanded a final hearing because with all this not picking, we were not moving forward, the facts had been established and what I said was backed up by police evidence and independent witnesses, fo the most part.

 So we arrived once again, for a half-day hearing.  Which was adjourned due to court scheduling not allowing enough time to be heard.  Right at the beginning of all these processes the ex had been court ordered to a) engage in indirect contact with my son via letters, cards and presents and b) take a hair strand test for cannabis use.  He had done neither (I had only ever received one gift for my son from him, co-incidentally just before the very first court hearing, Cub sees is paternal grandmother and aunt, and so there is a route open there for him to pass items along.  I have never had any Christmas or Birthday presents or cards, not even a babygrow or a toy when he was born and he pays no maintenence).

His barrister (the final hearings mean we have barristers now not solicitors) read his the riot act (apparently), telling him that he had not complied with a court order for the hair strand or the indirect access agreements and that he had better pull his socks up before the next hearing.  He did attend a hair strand test but failed to make any indirect contact still, even though back in march I had set my son up with a skype account which I had been making available at 6pm every wednesday for the purposes of their communication.

So onto last Thursday, I attended again, all suited and booted (I even got a 'wow' from my mum (bearing in mind I'm usually jean-ed & wellied!).  This time, instead of magistrates, we were due to be in front of the District Judge.  This *should* have been a good thing and make the proceedings efficient.  Sadly this as not the case because despite there being a court order that we should be the only case heard on that day, THREE others were booked in so once again we were adjourned, this time for a TWO day hearing.  The ex also took my parents address so that he could engage in indirect contact, though there has been none yet.  The Judge..well, the only word I can use to describe him is asshole.  He was bad tempered, impatient and clearly not impartial and in a way it is a good thing that it wasn't him making decisions that will affect my life and that of my son.

Now..I don't know what to expect next time, I certainly have no faith in justice being done.  Our fate is in the hands of three strangers (the magistrates) or it could be the same Judge again.  What everybody thought would be a clear cut case has turned out to be full of unpleasant turns and surprises.  I can't even guarantee that we will be heard, I can't guarantee that the judgement will be impartial and i cant guarantee that the outcome will not result in harm to me and my son.  To say my life was in the hands of the Gods would mean that I may get a positive and fair outcome, however it is in the hands of whoever is at the court that day, with all their own problems and axes to grind getting in the way of impartiality and justice.

Meh

But I do appreciate all your support.  Now let's pray/cast spells/send the kidnappers in/practice mind control techniques in preparation for the 1st and 2nd of August. *sigh*