The warrior's guide to survival

It's pretty common knowledge, that abusers use the court systems to get to their victims. After all, it's all about control, and how better to control an ex partner, who has escaped from you, than use the law to ensure she is in a certain place at a certain time. Sometimes it's the family courts, sometimes a civil matter. They know you will be scared, and in my case, the perpetrator admitted in a letter that he was sexually aroused by seeing me in court. Escaping a domestic violence situation is a brave thing to do, not least because you know the perpetrator will be furious with you for getting away. You may have a non molestation order in place, which they may or may not be adhering to but one way they can ensure that they are close to you is by taking you to the court. If you have a child together the easiest way will be to initiate a contact hearing. This ensures that they will at least be able to control your movements once every two or three months for

You wake up in the morning, and open the curtains to see the sunlight pouring in. Or the rain, pouring down.  You get up, have breakfast, get ready, leave the house, walk the dog, come back and relax or play with your family.  A typical day. What it's like to be a domestic violence/stalking/harassment victim: You wake up in the morning, and open the curtains. You scan the street too check whether anything is different or out of place.  You do the same when the downstairs curtains are opened, if you dare.  You carry your phone and keys on your person at all times.  You turn the telly on so that you aren't jumping at every little noise outside.  You have breakfast and plan to leave the house.  You set your Panic Guard, check out of the windows to see if anyone is lurking around.  If you are lucky and have a clever dog you can send him out first and watch for his signals. You make sure your rape alarm is within reach.  You check the car and test the brakes before you leave th