To the Perpetrator, challenging lies
Oh dear oh dear, well, I've finally found out exactly what you've been telling everyone and it is quite ludicrous, not to mention highly exaggerated, what shred of truth it actually contains. Here's one that you told my mother too: "she's been a crackhead for twenty years"...think about this carefully - is this the same twenty years when I somehow managed to get a degree, AND a Masters? in Computing? (well, lets not lie I didn't do the dissertation, I got PGDip, but nonetheless still managed to pass two years worth of hard study). Is this the same twenty years within which time I travelled the world, studied kung fu, boxing, kick boxing and escrima?
I was a stripper when we met and you helped me turn my life around. Oh, how I lol'd at this one. Yes, I was a stripper, I'm not ashamed of that. YOU should be ashamed that you were a punter, well, I say punter, you and your mates weren't punters you were tourists, you came in for a drink and not to have dances. In strippers language; wastes of time. But we were both to blame for having unrealistic expectation of the other I suppose. You thought I was a sex mad floozy and I thought you were a man on way to having a good career and owned his own house, when you were temping and renting off your dad. I am guessing your dad, because you refused to discuss how you lost your house and how you ended up staying with me, temporarily, I recall, which is why you refused to pay any bills at my place.
You helped me turn my life around!!!!!!!! That was hilarious, I turned my life around DESPITE you, not because of you. I won't deny I have had intermittent substance abuse problems in the past but I have been clean for the best part of a decade now. Maybe you have forgotten the time I gave up smoking, drinking and drugs one new year and you were supposed to join me? You lasted less than a week and still used to smoke in the house, lying about it, and even when i got pregnant you'd lie about having smoked weed in the house when my super sensitive pregnancy nose told me otherwise. It took extreme willpower to give up smoking when I lived with a smoker, specially one who told me to just shut up and have a fag. In fact, as soon as I was clean, I saw what a loser you really were, and that's when the cracks started to show, clearer and bigger than before, in our relationship. You couldn't even stop smoking weed for the sake of an unborn baby, you brought a new born baby into a house with kilos lying around on the table,and you couldn't even stop for a few months for the courts to advance your own case and see a son you claimed to care so much about. You had your other son sleep over yours in the same room you grow the stuff in. Now who is the addict?
You told me I was unambitious for working in a chip shop but having a job led to a better job, unlike you, when you lost one of your many temping jobs (incompetence, was it?) used to refuse to sign on the dole so you could help me a tiny little bit with the bills and just used to sit round the house all day, when you weren't down the precinct scabbing fags off strangers.
You supported me when I had my benefits stopped!!!! This never happened and anyone I have ever known or worked with can back me up when I say that getting money out of you was a nightmare. For years after you "temporarily" moved in with me you refused to pay towards the rent because it wasn't your flat. You never paid towards the council tax and when you eventually (after years) put your hand in your pocket it was intermittent and below half of what I was actually paying. Despite you earning more than twice what I was earning. So I went hungry, yep, even when I was pregnant.
I tried to force the relationship to move on at a faster pace than you wanted!!! Hang on......YOU moved in with ME. Temporarily. I needn't say any more. Hell, I even got the police to chuck you out but you still conned me into moving back in, saying you were going to get your own place, and then, because you didn't, I was forced to go house hunting and find a place myself, when I was pregnant, to get away from you. You were useless, to say you looked after me is on of the biggest jokes EVER. I sorted the food, the bills, I did the cleaning and the cooking and the dog walking, the vets and the dog food, I bought all of that. You refused to clean the house or change the bed sheets because you said I did it too often. You complained when I left that I had taken the cleaning products with me. You never once, ever, bought any cleaning products. You didnt buy anything that benefited you directly. At work I was driven to tears because you refused to put your hand in your pockets and pay your share. I now know that is part of the abusive behavior.
Your mother accuses me of damaging Cub's brain. When I asked him, he told you that he had said to you that I didn't trust you. This slipped out one day after the last visit when Cub kept telling me "daddy doesn't want to hurt you just hug you", so it is YOU hurting his brain, passing messages along to me through him, just like you do to your other son. Yes, he also told me that you told him I would damage his brain "maybe not today but in the future". I tell you what IS damaging and that is having a father who attacks the mother at every given opportunity. It is stress in the womb, and dragging his mother through courts and accusing her of "using the system against you", when it is I who initiated safe contact in a contact centre. It is YOU who got banned from the contact centre and then took me to court to try and get unsafe contact. It is YOU who my son comes home from seeing you and tells everyone you can't say his name right (a name we agreed on together and, more fool me, went to the office to register, together), and that you pick him up and wont put him down and respect his wishes. Now it comes out that you have said that he said that I am afraid of you. I never said this but he is a very clever little fella and I suppose he can't help but care for his mummy and notice when she is sad/angry/has the police round.
I'll tell you what IS fucked up though and that is when my little boy comes back from contact angry and confused. After several days of challenging behaviour and him saying to me "you're damaging my brain, maybe not now but some time in the future you will" I asked him who had said these words and he says "Nanna". He then opens up and says "I'm not like you, I'm dark and you are white". I have never described my skin colour or questioned anyone else's and to my knowledge he and his friends are pretty colour blind at this age. So I ask him "who said this honey?" and he said Daddy. "Daddy says I am not like you because I am dark".
It is YOU that attacked me on twitter and let my son see the police come to our home again. YOU.
You say that I am making up the abuse, but if that was the case, I would be saying you hit me every day. I never said that, and you proved yourself and your state of mind within three tweets, and witnessed by many people. You yourself agreed in court that everything on my statement was true. To say I made you do it is classic abuser talk, not taking responsibility for your own actions. You proved yourself when you stood up in court and tried to convince the judge that smoking weed is good for you and calms down your anger. You proved yourself to the cafcass officer when you told her you intended me harm.
I wasn't even going to publish this, because you are so not worth it, but I needed to say, do you ever wonder why absolutely everybody who knows me & the cub says with conviction that I am an excellent mother, and it is only your family, who have based their knowledge of me on your ludicrous lies, who question that?
I suggest you sign up for the freedom programme, to recognise your behaviours, and see a doctor, because I really think you need professional help, and sometimes I even wonder if you do actually genuinely believe your own lies. Look up "compensatory narcissist".
I was a stripper when we met and you helped me turn my life around. Oh, how I lol'd at this one. Yes, I was a stripper, I'm not ashamed of that. YOU should be ashamed that you were a punter, well, I say punter, you and your mates weren't punters you were tourists, you came in for a drink and not to have dances. In strippers language; wastes of time. But we were both to blame for having unrealistic expectation of the other I suppose. You thought I was a sex mad floozy and I thought you were a man on way to having a good career and owned his own house, when you were temping and renting off your dad. I am guessing your dad, because you refused to discuss how you lost your house and how you ended up staying with me, temporarily, I recall, which is why you refused to pay any bills at my place.
You helped me turn my life around!!!!!!!! That was hilarious, I turned my life around DESPITE you, not because of you. I won't deny I have had intermittent substance abuse problems in the past but I have been clean for the best part of a decade now. Maybe you have forgotten the time I gave up smoking, drinking and drugs one new year and you were supposed to join me? You lasted less than a week and still used to smoke in the house, lying about it, and even when i got pregnant you'd lie about having smoked weed in the house when my super sensitive pregnancy nose told me otherwise. It took extreme willpower to give up smoking when I lived with a smoker, specially one who told me to just shut up and have a fag. In fact, as soon as I was clean, I saw what a loser you really were, and that's when the cracks started to show, clearer and bigger than before, in our relationship. You couldn't even stop smoking weed for the sake of an unborn baby, you brought a new born baby into a house with kilos lying around on the table,and you couldn't even stop for a few months for the courts to advance your own case and see a son you claimed to care so much about. You had your other son sleep over yours in the same room you grow the stuff in. Now who is the addict?
You told me I was unambitious for working in a chip shop but having a job led to a better job, unlike you, when you lost one of your many temping jobs (incompetence, was it?) used to refuse to sign on the dole so you could help me a tiny little bit with the bills and just used to sit round the house all day, when you weren't down the precinct scabbing fags off strangers.
You supported me when I had my benefits stopped!!!! This never happened and anyone I have ever known or worked with can back me up when I say that getting money out of you was a nightmare. For years after you "temporarily" moved in with me you refused to pay towards the rent because it wasn't your flat. You never paid towards the council tax and when you eventually (after years) put your hand in your pocket it was intermittent and below half of what I was actually paying. Despite you earning more than twice what I was earning. So I went hungry, yep, even when I was pregnant.
I tried to force the relationship to move on at a faster pace than you wanted!!! Hang on......YOU moved in with ME. Temporarily. I needn't say any more. Hell, I even got the police to chuck you out but you still conned me into moving back in, saying you were going to get your own place, and then, because you didn't, I was forced to go house hunting and find a place myself, when I was pregnant, to get away from you. You were useless, to say you looked after me is on of the biggest jokes EVER. I sorted the food, the bills, I did the cleaning and the cooking and the dog walking, the vets and the dog food, I bought all of that. You refused to clean the house or change the bed sheets because you said I did it too often. You complained when I left that I had taken the cleaning products with me. You never once, ever, bought any cleaning products. You didnt buy anything that benefited you directly. At work I was driven to tears because you refused to put your hand in your pockets and pay your share. I now know that is part of the abusive behavior.
Your mother accuses me of damaging Cub's brain. When I asked him, he told you that he had said to you that I didn't trust you. This slipped out one day after the last visit when Cub kept telling me "daddy doesn't want to hurt you just hug you", so it is YOU hurting his brain, passing messages along to me through him, just like you do to your other son. Yes, he also told me that you told him I would damage his brain "maybe not today but in the future". I tell you what IS damaging and that is having a father who attacks the mother at every given opportunity. It is stress in the womb, and dragging his mother through courts and accusing her of "using the system against you", when it is I who initiated safe contact in a contact centre. It is YOU who got banned from the contact centre and then took me to court to try and get unsafe contact. It is YOU who my son comes home from seeing you and tells everyone you can't say his name right (a name we agreed on together and, more fool me, went to the office to register, together), and that you pick him up and wont put him down and respect his wishes. Now it comes out that you have said that he said that I am afraid of you. I never said this but he is a very clever little fella and I suppose he can't help but care for his mummy and notice when she is sad/angry/has the police round.
I'll tell you what IS fucked up though and that is when my little boy comes back from contact angry and confused. After several days of challenging behaviour and him saying to me "you're damaging my brain, maybe not now but some time in the future you will" I asked him who had said these words and he says "Nanna". He then opens up and says "I'm not like you, I'm dark and you are white". I have never described my skin colour or questioned anyone else's and to my knowledge he and his friends are pretty colour blind at this age. So I ask him "who said this honey?" and he said Daddy. "Daddy says I am not like you because I am dark".
It is YOU that attacked me on twitter and let my son see the police come to our home again. YOU.
You say that I am making up the abuse, but if that was the case, I would be saying you hit me every day. I never said that, and you proved yourself and your state of mind within three tweets, and witnessed by many people. You yourself agreed in court that everything on my statement was true. To say I made you do it is classic abuser talk, not taking responsibility for your own actions. You proved yourself when you stood up in court and tried to convince the judge that smoking weed is good for you and calms down your anger. You proved yourself to the cafcass officer when you told her you intended me harm.
I wasn't even going to publish this, because you are so not worth it, but I needed to say, do you ever wonder why absolutely everybody who knows me & the cub says with conviction that I am an excellent mother, and it is only your family, who have based their knowledge of me on your ludicrous lies, who question that?
I suggest you sign up for the freedom programme, to recognise your behaviours, and see a doctor, because I really think you need professional help, and sometimes I even wonder if you do actually genuinely believe your own lies. Look up "compensatory narcissist".
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