Letter to M, August 2013

Well hello my love, and its been such a lovely summer.  You have grown in height, in shoe size and of course wit and intellect and you continue to amaze me daily with your words and actions.  We have just had a quiet week, mostly me and you, enjoying what will probably be the last of the summer sun.

We had an amazing holiday in Norfolk again, and we were both sad to leave.  But when we returned, we had a half birthday party for you at Granny and Grandads house. It was a fantastic Thomas themed day and ran on way past the finish time.  Your best friends attended; Oliver, of course, and Benjamin and Elodie, Eva, Chloe and Kian, William and Georgina.  Your new friends Charlotte, Thomas and James came and they brought with the their remote controlled Thomas to play with.  You liked it so much that I found you one on ebay and then the sound drove me bonkers.  Actually,  I think it drove us both a bit bonkers because you let me tape polystyrene to the windows in an attempt to block out the sound.

Then we went camping with Oliver and his mummy and you had an amazing time, though it right wore me out!  We went on the Severn Valley Railway, because you and Oliver love your trains so much.  You and Oliver are best mates and always hug and kiss each other goodbye.  I will be sorry when that is no longer socially acceptable for you.  You always want to ride on trains but I don't always have enough money to take you, but I do whenever I can.  You are still train mad, you sometimes talk in your sleep saying the names of Thomas and his friends, and from the moment you wake up to the moment you sleep, the majority of your play is train related.  We read books of all kinds but at the moment we are working our way through the Thomas original series box set that I bought you last Christmas. 

You are my favourite person, and I love you more daily. I think in my head all the time about things that I'd like to write in this blog for you but I never remember them all.  I wish I could record my thoughts sometime for you.  We keep ourselves busy though.  You are a busy person, you do not even like to stop to eat. "Mummy I'm busy" you say, as I try to encourage you to take some nourishment.  The only meal I can really get you to concentrate on is your evening meal, and only, I guess, because you are too tired by then to protest.  At bedtime you sleep with me, because you likea cuddle to get settled, and in fact really, it's the best way to get you lying still. You'd be up all night if I let you, but I see in your eyes and your crazy last burst of energy that you are ready to sleep.

You love to play with me, and I you.  Its like having another childhood,  just being, just sitting and playing, collecting stones or throwing grass at each other or running around chasing each other.  The summer this year has been long and fabulously warm and so I have loved just hanging out with you in the sun, taking Shadow for walks and just being with you, listening to you talk and sing and trying to be a good part of your world.  You can kick a ball now and catch, ok-ish.  You can ride your strider and trike for a good distance and your climbing and balacing skills are almost ninja-like, you are so sure-footed.  Your memory and imagination are what amaze me the most, when we play or I watch you play as I do my chores I hear your stories and my heart smiles.  

You are learning your "a-b, c-d's" now, as you call them and know words for all the letters in the alphabet, though you sometimes get mixed up.  You know the important ones though; m for you and mummy, c for me, d for dog, s for shadow and x for kiss.  You follow the words in books with your finger when you "read" them, as I do, when I read to you.  You are a multi media kid, with tv, tablet, books and a laptop at your disposal, you are almost ready to find out everything there is to know, once you can link those little a-b, c-d's together into words. 

I feel a little sad at the moment, because I am realising that this is our last year of freedom together, before you have to go to school and I lose you for five days out of seven.  This is an important time for us, because I know you, I know your heart and your soul are so good and kind and I worry so much that school will change you.  You are a true gentleman, and will stick up for anyone that you feel is being picked on.  You are kind and open, honest and confident, and I hope that you stay that way.  We are so close and I tell you I love you and am proud of you so much. I want to help you be resilient, so that if anyone is horrible to you that it won't hurt you, and you can tell them that they are wrong.

Sometimes you tell me you love me too, or come up to me and kiss me, for no particular reason.  My heart smiles and bursts with pride when you do that.  People say I'm a great mum  but really, I think you were born great, I just try my best to support your greatness and help you learn useful things along the way.  You're the best, I admire and love you so much, I really am having the time of my life being your mum.  We don't have much money but we have each other, and Shadow, a home and a garden, and all the love in the world.

I am going to try and sleep now, cuddle up to your relaxing sleepy smell and hope for some more fine weather and a nice time at Granny and Grandad' s tomorrow. You and your Grandad are so alike in so many ways, its uncanny.

Love you always, more each day,
Mummy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx