The warrior's guide to survival

Hello Darling, You crazy, wild, free-spirited wondrous child you.  When you were born I thought I could never love more than I loved you but every day, every week, every little thing I learn about you and every new thing you learn and do I love you more and more and more.  Before I became a mum all I heard was "children ruin your life/stop you doing things/wreck your body" and I wonder how anyone could think such things.  Sure, parenthood has challenges, but since you were born my life has changed for the better and just keeps getting happier and happier every day.  Rather than stopping me doing things, being a parent has opened new doors for me, in blogging, socially, and most important spiritually and mentally.  Understanding you and helping you to be the best person you can be is an exciting task, ans one which brings me the reward of pride and amazement in your wonderful self.  A couple of months ago all we seemed to be doing as shouting at each ...

Hello my Big Boy 4, You were thrilled to bits to finally reach the Big Boy status of Four Years Old.  Now you are even stronger, braver and cleverer than ever before.  When I write your name it must ALWAYS be followed by a great BIG 4.  My little darling, you won't let me call you baby any more, even when I explain that baby is not me calling you a newborn but me giving you pet name indicating my love for you.  You'll still be my baby when you are SIXTY-four.  Which is OK, because you tell me you want to live with me forever, and I tell you that you can live with me for as long as you want.  For "fifty-ten years", you say, and I say, I really hope that we are still living together then, because I will be one hundred years old.  Any big thing, be it distance, or age or height, is ten.  Ten must seem to be a very big number for you  right now.  You know your numbers perfectly, both recited and written and you are grasping simple mathe...

It's pretty common knowledge, that abusers use the court systems to get to their victims. After all, it's all about control, and how better to control an ex partner, who has escaped from you, than use the law to ensure she is in a certain place at a certain time. Sometimes it's the family courts, sometimes a civil matter. They know you will be scared, and in my case, the perpetrator admitted in a letter that he was sexually aroused by seeing me in court. Escaping a domestic violence situation is a brave thing to do, not least because you know the perpetrator will be furious with you for getting away. You may have a non molestation order in place, which they may or may not be adhering to but one way they can ensure that they are close to you is by taking you to the court. If you have a child together the easiest way will be to initiate a contact hearing. This ensures that they will at least be able to control your movements once every two or three months for ...

You wake up in the morning, and open the curtains to see the sunlight pouring in. Or the rain, pouring down.  You get up, have breakfast, get ready, leave the house, walk the dog, come back and relax or play with your family.  A typical day. What it's like to be a domestic violence/stalking/harassment victim: You wake up in the morning, and open the curtains. You scan the street too check whether anything is different or out of place.  You do the same when the downstairs curtains are opened, if you dare.  You carry your phone and keys on your person at all times.  You turn the telly on so that you aren't jumping at every little noise outside.  You have breakfast and plan to leave the house.  You set your Panic Guard, check out of the windows to see if anyone is lurking around.  If you are lucky and have a clever dog you can send him out first and watch for his signals. You make sure your rape alarm is within reach.  You check the car and...

Oh dear oh dear, well, I've finally found out exactly what you've been telling everyone and it is quite ludicrous, not to mention highly exaggerated, what shred of truth it actually contains.  Here's one that you told my mother too: "she's been a crackhead for twenty years"...think about this carefully - is this the same twenty years when I somehow managed to get a degree, AND a Masters? in Computing?  (well, lets not lie I didn't do the dissertation, I got  PGDip, but nonetheless still managed to pass two years worth of hard study).  Is this the same twenty years within which time I travelled the world, studied kung fu, boxing, kick boxing and escrima? I was a stripper when we met and you helped me turn my life around. Oh, how I lol'd at this one.  Yes, I was a stripper, I'm not ashamed of that.  YOU should be ashamed that you were a punter, well, I say punter, you and your mates weren't punters you were tourists, you came in for a drink an...

Dearest Son of mine, Wowee you are growing at a rate of I-don't-know-whats at the moment, physically and mentally.  One moment I forget you are only three and a half because you are amazing me with witty conversation and worldly knowledge, and then the next moment I am reminded of your age when you crumple into an emotional heap of tears because I have told you that you can't eat fish and chips for breakfast and sweets for tea. I love it when I hear "I love you Mummy" and, "I am so happy, I just can't stop being happy", and words of wisdom such as "I know Mummy, what we need is a giraffe!".  I like less when I hear "I am going to put you in the bin". You think you can fix anything "I'm an engineer", and if you can't fix it, I will be able to fix it, and if I can't fix it, Grandad will, in his amazing workshop with all the tools.  I love that workshop too, you can definitely fix most things there. You and y...

Hello my honey bunny, Actually, you'd object to that, you object to being called anything that you are not, such as 'baby' ("I'm three and a half!").  Unless we are playing, and you love to play pretend games, such as tortoise, where you hide under my pink washing basket and shuffle around the floor, or pussy cat where you miaw and let me stroke your hair.  Or dog, where I throw a toy and you fetch it, or if we are on an actual dog walk, you attach the lead to me or yourself and we take turns.  Now you are stronger, we play koala too - a bit like a piggy back but with you holding yourself on.  You invent great games, like today we were at the park near the trains (your favourite) and we took your boom bats, a couple of cars and a cricket bat and ball and you invented several hours of games to keep us entertained and active. You make me laugh so much, and now you are older I know you do it on purpose, to me and other people too, you love being the entertai...